I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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