As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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