Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My pussy is not your playground.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
