there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
