I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
