real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
