We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
