Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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