I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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