So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
