the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
