'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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