last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
