Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
