you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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