i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
