Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Enjoy the penises
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
