? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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