He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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