Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
