I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
