I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
