Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize