Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
