Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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