Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
