I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
