There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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