He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
