He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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