hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
