We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
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