It was confusing and full of hummus
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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