I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
