We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
