Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
