check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
