I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
