Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize