the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize