So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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