i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
