It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
