I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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