We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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