He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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