you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
