I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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