She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also, beer. Big fan.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
