he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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