Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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