He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish you could order shots online.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
