Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
As shirtless as possible
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize