Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
