Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
