I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
