I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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