I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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