some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
