We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
