we're chasing vodka with high fives
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
