two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
