I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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