I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
