found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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