I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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