I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
