Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
