just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
