...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
