i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
