sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
