I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
