my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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