I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
