Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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