I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
