Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
