Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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