tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
