this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize